Trump Talk Got You Pissed? The Best Way to Win is to Do THIS

D
id you know that the average American gets pissed off at least once per day? And that was
before Trump took the presidency! 

Yep, a survey at the start of 2016 on American rage showed that half of all Americans were angrier than they were the year prior and that a whopping 68% — that's two of every three people — get angry at least once a day.

I'm quite positive that figure has now skyrocketed to nearly 100% of people getting angry at least once a day. But here's the thing. Trump isn't the reason most people are angry right now. He's our raison d'etre however if each of us is honest with ourselves, the anger rising up right now stems from much deeper and much older places.

I'm not saying he's not pissing people off left and right, because he is. But many of those who feel justifiably upset are then pissing others off with name-calling, character assissination, and shaming of their once-friends-now-political-enemies.

There's no right group or wrong group here. I'm not calling anyone out. I'm calling EVERYONE out. I've been guilty of it too.

Because we as a nation are angry. We as a world are angry. And we the people, each as individuals, is summarily pissed off. It's time to get clear about why we're angry, and what to do about it ~ without passing the buck and the blame onto others. 

This is important, because the only way you'll win on the issues you care most about is if you approach the fight with a level head. There is healthy, sacred anger, and then there's habitual rage. Keep the former and ditch the latter. This article will show you how...

Note: None of this is to say we shouldn't be out there protesting and supporting the issues we believe in. DO THAT! That is sacred anger in action. This article is about healing the deeper rage so that we can enjoy life and powerfully direct our action towards the injustices and issues that matter to us. So take a deep breath, maybe grab a glass of wine, and feel free to proceed... 🙂

So back to this survey...

Even though it is over a year old, it predicts the tide of White American aggression and the resurgence of middle America's disgust with policies they believed were favoring everyone else: Women, immigrants, foreign interests, refugees, black and minority Americans... while ignoring them and their issues {worker's rights, manufacturing and family/religious values}. It also predicts the tsunami of pushback and equally vehement disgust from "everyone else."

Again, this isn't about who's right. It's about the emotional and experiential divide between two groups who have immensely different lives, different needs, and therefore different political priorities.

For starters, the study identified that white Americans were far angrier than non-white Americans, even though non-whites reported having a far harder time making ends meet. The reason? The study cited that white Americans felt disenfranchised, disappointed, and as though their expectations were not met.

But before half of my readers scream at me for calling out the white guy, let me fill you in on the group most rapidly increasing in anger: Women.

What the study discovered is that there are three factors that contribute most to habitual rage:

1.
EXPECTATION: Those who expected better treatment or more money... or who felt stifled, shortchanged or screwed over... were dramatically more angry than their counterparts, even if their resulting circumstances were still better overall than that of other respondents. What this tells us is that habitual rage isn't related so much to what you do or do not get; it's related to what you believe you deserve in relation to what you get.

2.
EMPATHY: Here's where the women come in. According to Esquire, who published the survey {this is their conclusion, not necessarily mine}, women showed a huge uptick in anger in 2016 because they may be more likely than men to be upset about the treatment of others. Obviously this is a generalization, however biology does show us that a woman's brain is wired to favor emotional capacity and depth moreso than a man's brain.

3.
EXPERIENCE: This is the factor most interesting to me, as it points to why we see such out-of-control rage dividing our nation into two distinct, if unintentional, groups. Esquire notes: "Seventy percent of blacks express anger about the way they are treated by society. Forty-eight percent of women are angry about the way they are treated. Even 21 percent of white men say they are angry at how they are treated in this country. People get angry when they don't like how they and theirs are treated. People, we suppose, are funny like that."

Because women may be more likely to feel anger at the treatment of others, and many minorities might share similar experiences of mistreatment, you can begin to see how our country might find a divide between white men on one side, and women and minorities on the other. I point this out so that we can see that white men are NOT the enemy for wanting the rest of the country to focus on their issues for once. Underlying any political leaning is the simple truth that each of us will care most about what we directly experience and that which directly affects us.

Therefore, as long as we refuse to see where the other side is coming from... as long as we continue to tighten our own noose with constricting viewpoints and tunnel vision about where we get our news and who we'll listen to with an open mind... the more impossible healing this divide will become. Because no matter what you think of President Trump, he is the consequence of our nation's anger. Not the cause.

The Consequences of Habitual Anger

Let's leave the political arena behind for a moment and discuss the nature of habitual anger, or rage. Stick with me here, because the techniques I'm going to teach you to transform your anger will make you more effective at battling for the issues you care about.

But first, it is worth noting the importance of looking after your self, your loved ones, and your personal health. If you burn out from anger and stress, you can't enjoy your daily life and you can't last long enough to fight the good fight.

So what is habitual anger or rage? Habitual rage is anger that is unable to complete or resolve in the moment it is triggered, and so gets stored or stacked within us. Researchers believe that the primary reason we do not release our anger is because we hold a story about our lives ~ a perception of the world ~ that requires anger as a continued response. Such beliefs include: "The world is not safe," "They're out to get me," "If I let my guard down..." "I'll hurt you before you hurt me," and so forth.

As we discussed earlier, our rage stems from our emotionally charged experiences where life failed our expectations, or when we were mistreated. So it isn't much of a surprise that such beliefs might develop for the average American.

Scientists and medical researchers now know that daily episodes of anger produce unhealthy chronic stress that damages the body, impairs your brain, immunity and metabolism, and can strain your career while alienating those you care about. This then becomes a vicious cycle: Your perception of life not meeting your desires will then trigger physical, emotional, professional {and hence financial} problems that then inspire more anger and frustration.

Luckily, it doesn't have to be a vicious cycle. You are in charge. And you are not your emotions. The key to reaching the flip side of anger is to bring your conscious mindfulness to it.

>>> Read this article for a step by step guide to transforming your anger with mindfulness.

 Back to Politics: How to Win Big

Deep rage is problematic because it cuts off your logical brain. It throttles you into reactive mode and, as we've all seen on social media, declarations and arguments made in anger start to look like kindergarten-quality name calling with sailor-quality swear words. No one wins those. You'll never change someone's mind if you call them a libtard or a heartless conservative bastard. And we as a nation can't win if we remain so divided and hateful towards each other.

Mindfulness is an excellent tool when anger strikes so that you can take a few minutes to chill the f*ck out, transform the fires of that anger into some much-needed energy, and GET TO WORK.

WIN BIG TACTIC #1:

If it matters enough to you to argue your point on social media or at the grocery checkout counter, then it should matter enough to you to establish a proper argument supported by FACTS you locate yourself. No parroting the news outlets. If they cite a speech, law, executive order or historical event, it is your responsibility to track the original transcript, document or detail about that event yourself.

Now in an ideal world, such research would be the burden of our news journalists, but we don't live in that world. They are strictly in the hands of their respective corporate interests and party lines and we cannot expect to get any useful or arguable facts from them. Use them as your starting point. But then do your own research.


WIN BIG TACTIC #2:

Persuasion is an art. So is seduction. When used ethically, persuasion is your ability to so completely understand and sympathize with the other person that you can truly see their point of view from where they are living. This brings us back to EXPERIENCE as one of the three primary factors of habitual rage. Those you disagree with likely have immensely different experiences than you do. Care enough to find out what those are.

From my 13 years as a top marketer and copywriter, managing multimillion dollar launch campaigns and writing sales letters that truly sell, I can tell you that before I ever tried to convince anyone of anything, I asked a crap ton of questions.

I wanted to know who my audience was, and what they wanted. What were their unmet needs and disappointments? Where were they hurting and why? If I could compassionately speak to those, they would realize, "Wow, this person gets me! They understand my pain. Maybe they also know my solution."

Only then, when the other person feels heard by you will they trust you enough to hear you and consider your point of view.

And honestly if you're afraid to really connect to someone else's differing point of view, that usually points to an uncertainty within you. You have to remember there are very few, if any, absolutes in this world. You will never always be right. They will never always be wrong. And no one is all good or all bad.

Damn right, your opposition has some valid points! Damn right, they have some truth on their side. That doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your own deeply held conviction. Rather it means if you're going to sell that conviction, i.e. make a fair argument and hopefully shift our nation's direction in favor of what you believe to be best, then you cannot be afraid to see the logic, truth and value of the opposing point of view.

If you can do THAT better than your opposition, you will be the one who wins the argument or case. Yes, facts and precedence matter. But as we've seen they're rarely clear cut. And it comes down to who can sway those in the middle to one side or the other.

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