I found it in a hotel bar.

Three days ago, I went to Irvine, California (I live in Los Angeles) to attend one of my client’s seminars. Christine Comaford-Lynch was launching her first Rules for Renegades Summit. I will cover some of the inspirational things I learned there from transformational speakers like Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Dave Lakhani, and more in future posts. Because right now I want to talk about what happened after the first day of the seminar…

I Bawled My Eyes Out in the Hotel Bar

And no, it wasn’t because I drank too much. I sat with two gentlemen, chatting about business, when the conversation turned to spirituality. One of them asked me if he could be honest for a moment. “Of course,” I responded, slightly apprehensive of what would come next.

“Well there are three seats of power,” he began. “The solar plexus, which is will power, the heart chakra which is love, feelings, and openness. And then there’s the third eye or intellect. I see that you seem to forcefully place your power in your intellect. You’re almost aggressive about it – trying to help everyone fix their business whether they ask you for your advice or not. It’s a very masculine energy. But it doesn’t quite jive with me. I see your seat of power being in your heart chakra. You’re a naturally emotive person. And although you’re incredibly intelligent, your capacity of your heart far surpasses your capacity for your mind.”

He went on to share that he felt I needed to reclaim my femininity. And that’s when I began to cry. Because I have always seen my femininity as a source of weakness. I have chosen to close my heart and my receptiveness so that I can’t be hurt. The times I’ve opened myself to receptivity, I’ve been abused.

But these were all excuses and I knew it. And so I shared with this gentleman my story, my sorrows, where I felt lost and utterly alone. He coached me through it (turned out he was a certified trainer in a particular healing process) and I had one of the most intense healing, vulnerable experiences of my life…in public…at 2AM in a hotel bar.

It’s Changed Everything

For the past two years, I’ve dedicated myself to helping grow my client’s companies and spearhead their marketing efforts. I’ve also dedicated myself to coaching over 100 entrepreneurs to help them do the same. But this conversation helped me acknowledge that I was trying to use my intellect. I was trying to fix everyone else when really I just wanted to heal myself. Sure, I’m good at marketing and business. It’s a part of who I am. But it is not my purpose. I must stop asserting my mind and begin following my heart.

I now know what I have to do. And I will reveal it as I begin putting each element into motion. The world is a kind place to me again – and I am excited. Everything is changed, and I’m ready to heal.