Pornography for Women: Brace Yourself
Jun 29
So fellas… want to know what a woman really wants?
Well it’s not what you typically hear. Women do NOT really want you to be more like them and less like you.
However, sometimes what comes of thinking that’s what we ladies want gets pretty comical. Like this post I came across at my friend Vishen Lakhiani’s FinerMinds Blog.
I really enjoyed the photo spread. You’ll enjoy it too… male or female. And come back here to let me know what you think. I’d be curious to hear. I’m preparing a post on what women REALLY want based on my research into feminine energy, the female psyche, psychoanalysis and life experience. And you ladies out there will appreciate that post too. Because I found (and all men already know this…) WE don’t know that these are the things we want!
So enjoy! More on this topic coming soon.
lmao…this is hardly porn for women. Funny but I bet women would ultimately disagre/ I’ll tell you what is though; research how many copies of trashy romance novels are sold each year and it will give you an idea. They’re filled with what gets every woman off; fantasies and intrigue. Even those lovely vampire novels you’re so fond of. =) I’ll wager you had a super crush on Lestat and wanted him to bite ya!
Yes well that is EXACTLY why this was so funny. Women don’t want a man more feminine than she is, which is what this spread suggests. That’s what made it so great.
And yes, I have always been fond of fantasy and vampire novels, though I never wanted Lestat to bite me. I mean come on… get real. I was more of a Dracula fan.
Dracula? Lestat? I always thought Angel (blasphemy I know!) was the most interesting character! Cursed with a human soul and ripped apart by all the carnage he inflicted but doomed because he couldn’t experience true happiness. Constant sorrow, how much worse could it get??
And good luck on figuring out what ultimately attracts any woman! I know the secret, but I ain’t tellin! =)
I’d call that “Damn Boy Good Job”
True, I was pretty gaga for Angel. Forgot about him.
And I know what ultimately attracts women. There’s more to it than what they teach you in pickup. I could even teach you a few things…
@ Joanna – oh dear that is too funny. For everyone else out there, Joanna and I have a friend who bought the domain http://www.damngirlgoodjob.com. So we gals have gotten into quite the habit of exclaiming, “Damn girl, good job!” every time either of us does something semi-spectacular.
ROCK ON Joanna!
“And I know what ultimately attracts women. There’s more to it than what they teach you in pickup.”
UNDERSTATEMENT of a lifetime. It truly is phenomenal what certain changes in psychology, energy, spirituality, and physicality can do to attract women.
One thing that has helped me a TON is instead of writing a list based on experience and desired qualities, being present with my heart’s truest deep wishes for a partner and letting my heart write its own list.
The “must have / non-negotiable” qualities on my heart’s list are quite different than what my mind used to come up with. It was surprising, enlightening, and truly brilliant.
The other thing that helped was realizing that the avenues I was meeting people weren’t working for me (I was meeting women no problem, just not the ones who I would truly resonate with), and then I just totally surrendered and said:
“God. I’ve made my efforts, and so far the women have not been great people and also not even close to ideal matches for me. I’m done. Now it’s YOUR responsibility to deliver ‘Her’ to me. Got it? Good.”
The result?
Well, the Universe has been bending to my Heart’s Will in amazing ways. When I said “Deliver her to me” apparently it thought the best way to do that is through a varied selection of women who all meet my heart’s requirements.
Given the ocean of opportunities flooding my way lately, I think the Universe is now asking my heart to get even more clear and precise.
This is going to be fun…
(actually it already is!)
Chris, that is so fantastic! Congratulations. That’s a great process many would be wise to emulate. Glad to hear things are going so well.
Would love to hear your thoughts, but remember that what attracts you wouldn’t necessarily be the same for another woman. And there’s a lot of variables! What a woman finds attractive now doesn’t mean that it will be the same in 6 months, a year or even 10 years from now. It’s enough to drive a person bonkers if you try to figure it all out!! But damn do I love women and learning how y’all tick.
Well Mr. Guess…
For one you’re absolutely right. I would never be so bold as to believe what attracts me works for any other woman. I’m not talking about types or behaviors or anything so ephemeral or personal.
This isn’t about attraction at an ego or conscious level. We’re not talking about men and women here.
We’re talking about forces. Core essence. Energetics. And we all have both: masculine and feminine. What I’m interested in is exploring what we are at our core and how we can align with that so that we can step into our power and serve our highest purpose and desire.
You obviously know what you’re talking about. I just think we’re talking about slightly different things.
I dig it. Till next time…
When you speak of energetics are you referring to complementary opposites within a greater whole? That ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ aspects are mutually bound as one? Those constantly manifest themselves and shift throughout our lives as well. Where would you say that we’re at our peak potential, when those forces are balanced as one?
Good questions “Guess.” I’m exploring all of this as we speak and I like where this convo is going.
I agree that masculine and feminine constantly undulate in their manifestations within us. On the one hand I want to say that we are at our peak potential when our forces are balanced but I also feel that each of us has different ‘potentials’ or purpose. Perhaps one reaches her peak when fully in her feminine. Or when she tempers it with wise extensions into her masculine nature.
In the materials I’ve been researching and most fascinated by, feminine force is described as playful, open, emotive and wild. Masculine force is driven toward freedom, drive and direction. This isn’t to say men are one thing and women are another. I think the conversation is more along the lines of, “If my core essence is feminine – if that is the greatest and truest source of my power – how can I express and exist more fully in that space?”
I’ll be writing a post soon elaborating on these thoughts, my research, and some takeaways I’ve gotten for myself in all this. Because back in the day I was so rooted in my masculine that I wasn’t connected to my own power. This material helped realign me to my core feminine and I just plain LOVE it, love myself and love life all the more because of it.
That’s why I like to discuss and share what I’ve learned. Not {most definitely} because I think I have it all figured out.
But apparently you do as you know ultimately what attracts women. Do enlighten us… or is such wisdom not worth teaching {in that its power is in being discovered}?
I agree, I definitely like where this conversation is headed!
Our gut reaction is usually what’s right the first time.
Balance!
Balance is the key to finding our true and highest potential! We’ve been many things in our lives; past, present and future. Just because you’re a woman in this one doesn’t mean you were one in the past nor will be one in the next.
We are all of the things mentioned; wild, playful, emotive, free and driven. These are all labels that society places to “define” us and to create a false sense of order and security. Who we are goes beyond the limitations that we place on ourselves.
The truth is that if we run to one and try to use the other when it suits us, we still lose.
We’re fearful of what that would entail. What others would think of us. There’s only two things that drive all of us; love and fear.
When we let go of that fear the entire universe opens up to us! That’s when we can reach our greatest power!
On a lighter note; as far as teaching you what ultimately attracts women I have a special offer right now!! Normally this retails at $997 however I understand that in this tough economy money is tight. That’s why I’m offering a limited time only discount at $646 which I have only 26 remaining copies of! Act now and save over 46% off!!
Love and Fear. Yes all things are borne of them. And those of us pursuing a spiritual path aspire to move toward love in all things and to release or move through fear.
I absolutely agree with you.
However I can’t tell if you’re simply adding to the conversation out of joy (which I joyfully receive) or if you’re trying to make a point contrary to mine (which I also joyfully receive).
If the latter, I just want to explain where I’m coming from in the conversation regarding masculinity and femininity:
Many have come to an awareness of a greater purpose, path and truth. They are pursuing the higher truths you’ve so eloquently described.
However there are so many more who are not yet seeking such paths. They’re seeking immediate solutions to deep and grievous pains.
As I have once been such a person, it is to them my heart goes.
I want to help the multitudes who aren’t yet able or ready to embrace these concepts and are still rooted deeply in pain, numbness, dissatisfaction and immediate pains like relationship troubles, career frustrations and disconnection from self.
When I speak of feminine and masculine energies I understand that we are all both and that they are of time and space and duality and that beyond these things we are all singular, whole and unending LOVE.
But that conversation doesn’t often help the mother drowning in her duty to family and home who must suffer a secret life fractured and separate where her wildness and creativity are compartmentalized and chained.
That conversation rarely reaches the woman trying to figure out how to heal a rape, abuse or trauma she has endured. Where to start? It is not with love and fear for the common person. It is with how to grieve, how to step into her power, how to forgive and accept and release… how to integrate the parts of herself she believed were separate – to give voice and acceptance to the parts of her she thought were wrong or inappropriate.
I know I don’t have all the answers and will never pretend to. All I know is my greatest passion and mission came from my greatest suffering and healing.
I know what it’s like to be severed from God, severed from my power, severed from any sense of myself and the damaging behaviors, choices and beliefs that followed. The journey was long and hard and what helps me believe it was worth it is to believe it left me with a message I can share with others.
For me the greatest asset I developed was recognition of my femininity and the power I stepped into when I claimed it. It gave me my center – I lived from my center – and only then was I able to come into the balance you speak of.
I find no disagreement with anything you’ve said so far. It’s all exactly truth in my book. But there are so many already sharing that story and imparting that truth. And I’m simply here to share another facet of the truth.
I’ll leave you with my favorite mission statement to commemorate the conversation you’ve inspired:
“I would not interfere with any creed of yours, or want to appear that I have all the cures.
There is so much to know… so many things are true… the way my feet must go may not be best for you.
And so I give this spark of what is light to me, to guide you through the dark, but not tell you what to see.”
Oh my I feel you on so many levels!
Just to explain, I come from a place of joy. No two people will ever agree totally on everything but if we never had differing opinions how would any of us ever learn and grow?! =)
I think we both come from similar backgrounds; enduring tremendous pain and having our power sucked out right from under us. It took me years to figure it out, recognize it was not my fault and to regain what was lost. A lot of people are very skeptical when we talk of spirituality. It’s easy to lead a horse to water, it’s another thing to make them drink it! Most people are looking for a quick fix, an easy way, a magic bullet if you will. There’s really no such thing unfortunately, but life wouldn’t be as fulfilling if everything came that easily. I wish it was as easy to forget my past and forge ahead, it’s something we all have to continually work on, I’m sure you would probably agree. Gotta love that stubborn subconscience!!
I know what Chris was saying about guys in the seduction community. It’s not a solution to a problem, but its definitely a step in the right direction; albeit as long as guys are pure in their intentions to leave a woman better than they found her. I will say that it’s helped me regain my lost masculinity and I feel so much more centered and balanced where everything is going right in my life. It would be amazing if you could do something similar for women!
And nice quote, I believe that’s Osho correct?
Ah I love Osho, but the quote is actually from a raw food cafe in Las Vegas. Was attributed to “Unknown.”
Dear Jaime,
It is so important to embrace our feminine and masculine energies as these are in line with the true flow of things, others, the universe. These flows are constantly moving, exchanging, communicating, like the way we communicate with one of another. There are vibrations, … but do not get lost in the mechanics of things. Sometimes going with the flow does not mean going with the flow. You have to know what your want out of every situation, why you are there then move on and maybe, catch up later… etc. Life is truely interesting and if you embrace it, it will not let you down. You need to learn the lesson even if it is just going to the store… .
All the best Jaime,
Ariel