COMMANDMENT SIX: Thou Shalt Remain Accountable

Accountability often seals the deal on our success. AND it’s what most of us dread!

In his new book, “The 4-Hour Body,” Tim Ferriss talks about accountability systems that have proven extremely effective for weight loss, including:

• Posting your goals to a public forum like Facebook or a Goal Announcement website
• Creating a private group or email list for you and your friends where you update them on your goal and s#@! talk them in the process so that you’ll never live it down if you don’t succeed
• Creating an Accountability Group with weekly calls and/or have a buddy you talk to each morning and each evening

I encourage you to adopt at least one of these as you begin executing and moving toward your goals. This will ensure that you take action on what you learn and that your actions breed progress and profits.

At the least, I highly recommend you have an accountability partner. He or she will hold you accountable to the tasks you assign yourself each day. You can focus only on your business tasks, however I prefer to include personal goals and tasks as well since it’s all LIFE and a better life is really the BIG goal here!

And just to be clear: Your accountability partner is not here to pass judgment, give you another hand to beat yourself up with, or to nag you into doing what you otherwise would not do. These are all inappropriate uses for an accountability partner and will invalidate its effectiveness.

Instead, your accountability partner is there solely to train you to do what Wallace Wattles calls “acting in a way that causes you to more than fill your present place” in his book, “The Science of Getting Rich.” This allows you to exude a certain essence that, when encountered by others, will inspire them to want to work with you, help you, or profoundly change their own lives and ways of being as a result of encountering you.

As Wallace continues to explain, you most directly produce this essence by doing all that you can do in any given day, and to do it elegantly and completely. But, he warns, you must not try to do more than you can do in any given day. Otherwise you’ll spread yourself too thin and the completeness and elegance of your actions will deteriorate.

Your accountability partner will receive your task list every morning, as well as your list of completed tasks every evening. Your commitment to them is that you will never assign yourself a task that you will not complete before the end of the day.

The structure provided by an accountability partner allows you to train yourself and to be aware of what your normal task-capacity is during a busy life.

“But can’t I just pay attention to that myself?”

If we were good at being honest with ourselves and holding ourselves accountable to our promises we would all be blissfully happy people. Any dissatisfaction in your life can be traced back to some expression—some belief, value, thought, or action—that you are not being completely honest with yourself about.

An accountability partner can gently bring such behaviors and discrepancies to your attention and lovingly force you to take a good, hard, honest look at yourself and what you’re doing or telling yourself.

They can also give you that solid kick in the butt when needed and apply some tough lovin’.

COMMANDMENT SEVEN: Thou Shalt Have Fun

And thank goodness! All work and no play makes Jane a dull dame.

Setting goals will be pointless to you if you don’t enjoy the process – or if they make you feel stressed, guilty or like a failure. Make sure that you hold a space of creativity and excitement when setting your goals. Make sure they get you jazzed and fired up!

I’ll even create short and sweet goal statements like affirmations, and place them into a video animation that I watch each morning and night. I’ll use fun fonts for key words… bright vibrant colors for important phrases… and I continually rework the statement until I am positively giggling with excitement or mirth.

Also get in the habit of rewarding yourself when you reach your milestones, and if your goal can properly allow for it, encourage a friend or colleague to share your goal and work towards it together.  Most importantly, allow yourself a break now and then from your hard work.  Remember to make time for yourself and to make time for your loved ones and friends.

Consider doing something fun at least one day a week, and spend time with a different friend/loved one each week.  Routine leads to boredom and is the number one cause of failed relationships and dissatisfaction—don’t let routine ruin your goals.

Make time for fun!

COMMANDMENT EIGHT: Thou Shalt Believe

Make sure that your desire for something is aligned with your belief that you can attain it.

I can’t stress this enough. People will often tell me they want something desperately… and in the same breath tell me that it’s impossible. It can’t happen.

Does that sound like a recipe for happiness to you? For success?

Yet we’ve all been there and we’ve all been guilty of it: we set our goals, we diligently take action on them, and yet some deep fear slowly rots away our resolve. We realize we weren’t being honest with ourselves – as much as we hate to admit it, we never really believed it would happen for us.

I suggest that you follow the other commandments to start crafting your goals for your life and your business. Then as you hold those goals in your head and heart ask yourself, “What has held me back from these desires in the past? Why am I still not there yet?”

I like to just talk stream of conscious into a digital recorder so I can transcribe my thoughts later. Don’t worry about what comes out and don’t judge it. You’ll find hidden in your explanation something very valuable: the story you believe about why you haven’t succeeded yet.

Unchecked, this story will continue to play out across your life and you will continue to reap its logical conclusion: that you haven’t succeeded yet.

Once you’re aware of the story you may have been living, dig deeper to unearth the beliefs hidden there. These are definitive statements that look like facts but aren’t. Like “If I give it my all, and it still doesn’t work, I’m a failure” or “A man that good looking could never be attracted to me.”

Those are the negative beliefs you want to start letting go of. Replace them with new, empowering beliefs and make sure those new empowering beliefs support your goals.

COMMANDMENT NINE: Thou Shalt Seek Support

I’ll be the first to sing it from the mountain tops: None of us succeeds alone.

And particularly for my fellow ladies, the desire for community is hardwired into our brains. Many of us are so overwhelmed and physically stressed because we are out in the world handling everything alone. We have few, if any, support systems. For a woman this is biologically a life and death situation to our brain. It physically and chemically stresses the crap out of us. And we wonder why it drives us crazy!

You fellas out there haven’t got it much better. Your brain is on the hunt. It seeks to provide and to acquire or create resources. It knows there’s safety in numbers and that it’s better to hunt in packs. You need your support systems too.

So for each goal you set, I want you to identify the ways you will support yourself in reaching that goal. Perhaps you will seek out a professional mentor or coach. Get a list of books that will support you in reaching your goal or schedule yourself to attend an event. Join a mastermind or create a support group of your own.

Also maintain a positive and peaceful environment. Watch movies that are happy and aligned with your values. It sounds silly, but when I’m pushing hard toward my business goals I am careful not to watch any sad movies, sappy love stories or frustrating independent films that inspire doubt and fear about the nature of humanity or our lot in life.

Instead I revel in intelligent comedies, high-octane action flicks that keep my adrenaline pumping, and the only dark movies I allow are those like Dark Knight that ignites such a fierce warrior passion in my heart and body that I can’t help but leap into a ferocious workout or brainstorm for how I’m going to save the world.

You’d also be surprised by how music affects your productivity, focus and success. When I require high-performing brain function, such as when writing copy or strategizing, I listen to classical music. When I’m calling in my creativity I prefer passionate bossa nova or jazz… or my favorite Rodrigo y Gabriela on their flamenco guitars. Keep it positive and again feel free to engage in all the heavy metal and rock and roll you want as long as it inspires a fire, passion or energy you can funnel into your task at hand. Otherwise save it for play time.

I also steer clear of all news, television, newspapers and conventional magazines unless for research. I keep up to date on industry news and other such necessities, however I find little use for the daily news and other distractions and depressions. Ask anyone how to amp productivity, creativity and success and they’ll tell you to do the same. It works. And you’ll be grateful once you’ve broken the addiction.

Lastly, don’t forget to evaluate the people you surround yourself with—your business partnerships, your friends, your employees and colleagues—we all know the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.”  Surround yourself with the kinds of people who embody the type of person you choose to be.  You need people who will support and encourage you towards your goals, not people who put you down or say you can’t do it.  This doesn’t mean deserting your spouse, family and friends if they’re negative.  But it does mean you need to seek out supportive, positive people who relate to your dreams and will help you achieve them.  Don’t always try to achieve your goals alone.

COMMANDMENT TEN: Thou Shalt Not Give Up

What if you still don’t achieve your goal? Don’t give up. Maybe you’re concentrating too hard on reaching the goal and losing sight of why you set it in the first place. Remember that not everyone who succeeds sets goals to get there.  Sometimes passion is enough to drive you.

Goal setting will likely revolutionize your ability to succeed, however it is not always necessary.  Each of us responds to different things; each of us operates in slightly different ways.  If you try the above goal setting techniques, and they don’t work for you, then try something else. The most important thing is to be passionate and have fun. You’ll get there.

To Honor My Commitment to My Own Goals…

I’m going to publicly share my own goals for the next 60 days, along with my new Bucket List. I’m very excited (and a little anxious!). To conserve space and not make this post extra long, my goals below are listed in short format – not the complete format I have them in that includes due dates and details.

MY 60-DAY GOALS

1. Move into a stylish apartment in West Hollywood
2. Raise our start-up capital for O! Lila (exact dollar amount based on six-months operating costs)
3. Hire our initial O! Lila team (4 members)
4. Buy parents a certain surprise gift (can’t say cuz they read my blog… ACK!)
   
5. Begin dating again after my self-imposed four-year hiatus (that’s a whole other blog post! hahah)
6. Join a Wing Chun studio in LA
7. Join a fun yoga studio
8. Treat myself and my biz partner to a spa week getaway to rejuvenate and reset for building O! Lila
   
9. Actively pursue a social life to balance out work life
10. Transition from PC to Mac and get a new Mac Book Pro (yes, I know… finally!)
11. Release 20 lbs and shred my body to the best shape I’ve ever been in (aside from my anorexic modeling days). I will focus on health and vitality – not being as thin as possible.

MY NEW BUCKET LIST

1. A Feature-Piece on me or O! Lila in Entrepreneur Magazine
2. Go Zip Lining
3. Master Wing Chun Kung Fu
4. O! Lila receives Nobel Peace Prize for our efforts to end violence against women world-wide
5. O! Lila is one of Inc 500′s Fastest Growing Companies
6. Fund the building of a school in Uganda for Just Like My Child Foundation
7. Mobilize over 100 O! Lila event goers to volunteer for local cause/charity with us (at each of our events)
8. Hike into Machu Picchu at dawn
9. Take an African Safari
10. Go on an Egyptian Tour that includes obscure pyramids and sites such as Lehirit
11. Learn Sanskrit
12. Fall in love
13. Run a half-marathon for a women’s cause
14. Attend Joe Polish’s mastermind get-together on Necker Island with Richard Branson
15. Take a hot air balloon ride
16. Fly in a fighter jet (not pilot it, just along for the ride!)
17. Embark on a New Zealand Adventure Trek
18. Go to Angkor Wat in Cambodia
19. Hike Uluru in Australia
20. Get “I AM THAT” tattoo in sanskrit
21. Swim with wild dolphins in the ocean
22. Complete and publish my first novels, the trilogy Thanatos – write at least the first book in Greece
23. Christopher Nolan writes and directs the movie versions of the Thanatos Trilogy, with me highly involved
24. Converse with a gargantuan tortoise in the Galapagos Islands
25. Go to Burning Man

MY OLD BUCKET LIST

Here’s my old bucket list. The bolded items have been checked off (why I created a new one!). Just shows that we can absolutely do the things we dream of.

1. Go whitewater rafting down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon
2. Take a hot air balloon ride
3. Drive cross country over the summer, exploring each state
4. Go to a spiritual retreat for a fast
5. Travel full-time with no home base for at least a year
6. Walk on a glacier
7. Go hiking by myself
8. Swim with the dolphins
9. Go snorkeling (had quite a bit of fear around that!)
10. Ride an elephant
11. Go to a Tony Robbins Date With Destiny Event
12. Go whale watching in Alaska and actually see one!
13. Have my first White Christmas with my family
14. Make a snow angel
15. Learn Italian
16. Get “I AM THAT” tattoo in Sanskrit
17. Attend Joe Polish’s mastermind get-together on Necker Island with Richard Branson
18. Hike into Machu Picchu at dawn
19. Take an African Safari
20. Complete and publish my Thanatos trilogy
21. Visit Powell’s Books in Portland

WHAT IF I HELPED YOU PERSONALLY WITH YOUR BIG GOALS?

I have just opened my schedule to accept one-on-one coaching clients. However I can only accept 10 people. There are 7 spots left at the time of this writing.

You can check out the details here!

I’ve saved and made tens and even hundreds of thousands of dollars for people with just 30 minutes of my time and advice.

Imagine what we could accomplish together if you had one hour a  week of dedicated time with me? That doesn’t even include the multi-hour session you and I will have to kick everything off! We’ll have a hard-hitting strategy session that will include goal setting, visioning, personal and business progress mapping and more.

And you know how I roll… we’ll have such a rampant good time while we’re doing it all, you won’t even think it’s work!