Photo by Trey Ratcliff

What is going to happen in 2012?

Have you found yourself or those around you asking this question lately? It seems harmless enough, but what if I told you that such a question is a massive mistake? And perhaps even dangerous?

Don’t get me wrong – I caught myself asking this after Obama signed off on the NDAA and basically nixed all our personal rights. However I find that as I begin to stumble down the rabbit hole of fear… around our economy and a failing US dollar… around a possible police state… around all the natural disasters that have become commonplace… I (and all of us) must remember one vital thing:

This year is marked with intense transition energy.

And energy is not good or bad. It simply is. What is done with it, where it’s directed and what it does, is up to us.

Transitioning also means that what came before must end, and what is coming must be created and built. Transitions always require destruction. They also require creation. And both require action if we want such destruction to serve us and such creation to reflect what we want.

So this is NOT a year where we can idly ask “What will happen?”

Because now more than ever, what will happen depends precisely on what we do, individually and collectively, right now. Transition energy means massive change, momentum and movement. Things will inevitably change this year, and change fast. How they change and to what end – isn’t a question, it’s a directive. Simply: It’s up to us.

They always say that each of us has a Heart Song.

The movie Happy Feet made it particularly and adorably popular as animated penguins found their lifelong loves through singing their Heart Songs.

But real life isn’t quite that Disney is it? Human beings aren’t so simple and neither are our hearts.

I would venture actually to say that we don’t have Heart Songs at all. Instead, I submit that we have Heart Playlists.

I discovered this somewhat by accident this weekend and I’d like to take you through this impromptu exercise I did…

Because many of you ask me what Intuition is, how to connect to it, and what it feels like when you receive it, so you too can take action on it.

I hope that in sharing how my intuition throttled me smack dab into a Heart Playlist… that you’ll have something tangible to grasp (plus a fun exercise to try!).

You game? Good.

First, let’s tackle what I mean by a ‘Heart Playlist’ and then I’ll take you through how I created mine and the deep integration transformation it gave me…

What IS a Heart Playlist?

Your Heart Playlist is a series of 3 to 20 (and maybe sometimes more) songs that penetrate you so deeply that you 1) have an emotional reaction and 2) feel that it speaks of your heart or to your heart.

But here’s the key: your Heart Playlist is NOT a series of songs that all say basically the same thing. That’s just a Heart Song with Remixes… you know those singles albums with 4 remixes that all sound basically the same? That’s not what we’re going for, and you’ll see why in a moment.

Something very important and very deep is happening over at Dare2Rise.com: our 60-day challenge.

So important, I had to share it here on my blog. It is the question: Is there danger in a woman’s sexuality?

My answer to our community became somewhat of a personal manifesto…

Here is what I wrote:

The Question: Will a Woman’s Demonstration of Her Sexuality Inspire Predators to Harm Her or Take Advantage of Her?

A woman close to me, whom I love dearly, emailed me last night. She was concerned at my playful but blatant sexuality in yesterday’s Luv Tap. If you didn’t see the email, it mentioned a cupcake place we found called “Lick It, Bite It, or Both.”

Due to my personal history of being molested and raped, she was worried that such a demonstration of sexuality could be misconstrued by predators and call them out of the woodwork to bother me.

This called to me and Angela as a major concern we needed to discuss here with all of you, because relationships (including romantic AND business), our human sexuality and even attraction are all based on polarized power dynamics.

If we women hold a collective fear that we can be harmed, taken advantage of or victimized whenever we display our sexuality… imagine how that holds us back in every area of our lives?

What this tells us is that we women naturally go to a place of limiting ourselves, shutting down parts of ourselves that others may use against us… we choose to live only a part of our being in order to stay safe. This is not a woman’s fault – we are taught that we must do this by society and the world we live in. But it’s not society’s fault either. We are human beings, and unfortunately violence against women is part of the darkness we are attempting to evolve beyond as a species.

Here’s the deal though: Ladies – I’ve been there. I’ve lived a life of timid fear of being victimized and I’ve survived the reality of being victimized. I’ve experienced a belittling of myself in order to stay safe and seen that it doesn’t work.

I’ve also brazenly lived from my total self, spoken my truth, unashamedly celebrated my sexuality and sensual nature as a woman… and I can tell you that only when I started living life in this last way, did the predators STOP coming around.

So if you (ladies) have ever feared being your total wild, complex, feminine self… if you ever watched your every word, stance, or non-verbal cue to make sure that no part of your sexuality leaked out… if you’ve ever feared being taken advantage of or harmed if you did not keep some part of you silent…

Please know that it is very rarely a woman’s sexuality that calls a predator to harm her. It is NOT our demonstrations of elegant sensuality, or an empowered, tasteful sexual comment that triggers a predator. Why? Because these demonstrate power in a woman. Not weakness. When a woman tastefully and openly speaks her total truth (and yes, our sexuality is part of our total truth), she is owning her power as a woman. This does not mean that a woman’s sex is her power. No, it means that our freedom to express our sensual nature comes from stepping into who we are and owning our total self… and THAT is power.

For those of you who fear triggering a predatory response, or who don’t want to be harmed or mistreated by men, let me explain what does trigger a predator.

Predators actually don’t respond to sex. It has nothing to do with sex or a woman’s sensuality. It’s all about power dynamics. When a woman displays a lack of power… that’s when the predators come out. And we women can display a lack of power when we demonstrate a lack of self-trust. It happens when we repress our sexuality in order to stay safe. Our repression actually signals to the predator that we’re afraid of sexuality – and now he knows how to gain power and leverage over us… he uses our sexuality against us.

But when we own our sexuality in a healthy way (not overt or in your face, just as an integrated part of our total, whole self), we have not created a shadow form of our sexuality that can be wielded against us.

Lastly, I want you to know that this entire conversation… all these concerns… aren’t really about a woman’s sexuality.

It’s about a woman’s right to fully speak her truth.

And this is why Angela and I are here, delivering daily free advice and support through Dare 2 Rise. It’s why we’re building our women’s transformation company. These are the ways we are choosing to speak our truth, and to give women everywhere a voice to speak theirs.

Because several years ago I came to a crossroads where I could choose to heal, or choose to die. And I realized that if I did not commit myself to fight for a better world, to lead the charge for women to heal and feel comfortable being our natural, wild, sexual selves… then my only alternative was to stay broken, stay scared, and stay empty. And then why live at all at that point? So I chose the harder path to heal, to fight, to love and to unashamedly be my total self.

That was the only thing that got me through. And now I’m living that mission. No woman or man should ever be afraid to speak their truth. None of us should reduce our radiance and total self just to stay safe.

Today, ponder all of this. Where does it sit with you? How does it make you feel?

And perhaps ask yourself: How are you not currently living and speaking your truth? Might you be living small in some way… or attempting to kill off some part of you that feels dangerous to you… or that opens you up to some perceived weakness?

And then tell yourself, under no uncertain terms, that when you are ready: You can and absolutely will stand for your own truth. In totality. And in complete acceptance and love.

We also stand for you and your total truth.

As our tribe grows here, we will stand together for each others’ truth. Unanimous. Unshakable. Unyielding. And we will not be moved.

My original post at Dare2Rise is HERE.

You did not come when I called you.

And I know… I know that in the same breath I beckoned you with, I told you not to step forward.

It would appear that my overtly sure steps said I didn’t need you. My confidence bellowed, “I’ve got this.” My refusal to step toward you even as I asked for your step toward me… well that probably hinted at a leverage I would not release… a power I could not let be yours.

To the Man Who Never Arrived…

I get it. I understand now.

How could you step toward me in the radiance of your power and strength if I refused to make room for all that you are?

How could you truly want a woman whose every hint was that she didn’t need you?

I understand now. And I want you to know:

That my sure steps were actually wary, fearful ones – because I did not trust where I was going. My confidence was a mask I wore to maintain power – because the last time a man had more power than me, I didn’t make it home.

My refusal to step toward you was actually me on my knees… begging for someone kind enough to step toward me first.

Because I’m too scared. Too wounded. Too long alone now that the slightest of your turning away – once I make that fateful step forward – might crush me.

I am still too newly put together to risk that. And so I have fought to not let you know that I am weak. I have fought to seem strong. But I give up now. And I am asking you to embrace me. Surround me. Take me.

Because I cannot yet walk where I desperately need to go. But I can be swept up and carried. I am not asking to be saved. Just asking for a partner who can lead the dance… who will approach a shy wallflower who just got really good at looking aloof.

I will not need to be carried indefinitely. When we touch back down I will walk on my own two feet. And walk I will, right by your side, down whichever path we discover.

To the Man Who Now Arrives…

Thank you. I see you. And I’m right here.

Yep, it’s that time honey.

You know it in that vague but increasing sense of urgency… You feel it in that itch to shake things up, change things around… to rearrange your furniture or your finances… to makeover your look or your love life.

Whatever type of different you’re looking for, whether it’s in one area of your life or the whole enchilada, there is a simple way to make the changes – and to make the ones that count.

And the best part is, it’s not about changing habits, implementing a foreign system that may or may not be right for your unique situation, and it’s not about living the way I, or anyone else, tells you to.

All you have to do is increase your awareness over the next 60 days around what you want, what you do on a daily basis… and what you say to yourself and to others in relation to those two things.

Because…

What You Want = YOUR DESIRE

What You Do = YOUR WILL TO ACTION

What You Say = YOUR EXPRESSION OF BELIEF AND EXPOSURE OF THE LIES

When you are fully aware of these 3 core expressions, align them and eventually command them: you can and WILL accomplish anything you want. Guaranteed.

And guess what… you’re going to do just that, along with me and my business partner Angela Hartman, over the next 60 days!

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Join the Dare 2 Rise 60-Day Challenge & Makeover Your Life

Many of you have already voiced your commitment to join me and Angela on this challenge. And to fire you up even more, here’s some quick reasons you’re going to LOVE the next 60 days:

• It’s FREE to participate! And it’s for both men and women!
• We’ll kick things off with a Goal Setting Webinar to help you set your goals and share valuable tips for getting the most out of the challenge
• Check in every day to see the day’s Inspired Rethink (tiny and simple shift to re-imagine or repair your life)
• See the exact tasks Angela and I assign ourselves each day, plus hold us accountable to getting them done!
• Daily Luv Tap emails with bite-sized sassy wisdom to start you off on the right foot every morning
• Weekly assignments that are proven breakthrough activities for health, relationships, career, finances, emotional healing and self-love
• A private and secure participant’s forum (NOT Facebook) where you can share your own experience, journal, ask questions and share your own daily task lists. You can be anonymous if you like (which is why we’re not using Facebook), and you can pair up with each other as accountability partners!

CLICK HERE TO PARTICIPATE!

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You must sign up to participate, because you’ll be receiving daily emails I wouldn’t want to send to those uninterested in participating.

You’ll never get this level of support, motivation and sheer momentum anywhere else. Don’t miss out on this one-time-only event!

13 months ago I took my first public step in vulnerability and confessed that I had A Secret I Could Never Tell.

Of course… then I chickened out and never actually spilled the beans (except on a few closed calls or interviews). Sitting here trying to tell it now, in writing… I’m still clamming up. And staring at an empty page.

I know something in me doesn’t want to write this post. Yet, it’s that part of me that got so good at hiding – and so comfortable with silence – that has held me back and hurt me for the past five years. It’s time for the rest of me to be stronger. Pardon me, however, as I take baby steps…

Baby Step 1. Why Tell My Secret At All?

Yep, that’s the question I keep asking myself. After writing and deleting, writing and deleting, let me just bullet it out for you:

• Keeping this secret has kept me single for 5 years. Taking the leap to break the silence TOTALLY is my way of taking massive action toward intimacy after 5 years of avoiding it.
• I want to stand up for the belief I’m trying to believe: that this secret doesn’t make me damaged goods, that it can be a known part of who I am without becoming the only thing I am in the eyes of others.
• I’m committing to do a public 60-day challenge with all of you, in which I’ll focus a lot on intimacy, authentic living and vulnerability. I can’t ask you to do these things, nor say I’m doing them, unless I’m really going all in and doing it for real.
• In my gut I know I’m ready, and it’s the right thing for me to do.
• I’m starting to have throat problems, when I meditate and enter any altered state of consciousness, I feel like I’m choking. I’m dreaming of people staking me in the throat. It all screams of a closed throat chakra, which is all about breaking silence and speaking our unspoken truth.
• I was wasting away, dying on the vine and unable to heal… until I decided that if I could use my experience to help other women, it would all be worth it. I have many reasons I need to do this for me, but what gave me the courage to actually do it was this mission

Baby Step 2. Why Is It So Hard to Say It?

Reason A: I was once overwhelmed with the need to tell this secret, but it was the wrong time. Have you ever noticed how most actions aren’t good or bad in and of themselves… but there can be a right time and a very wrong time to do them? Well after several years of knowing that public disclosure would do me and those I told more harm than good – it’s hard to trust myself that now is ever a right time.

Opening back up is hence difficult, like learning to drive an entire journey in reverse.

Reason B: I was told that if I ever told anyone my secret, I would die. At the time I didn’t believe it, but after having this programmed into me for hours and days, it somehow dug itself into my brain. Last year, when I planned to go public, I started having panic attacks and visions and dreams of someone slitting my throat or killing me.

Breaking the silence is hence doubly difficult.

Baby Step 3. Finally Just Saying It…